@Leemanish: I don't care if you're here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
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@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@craydrienne: 1. Pick jeans to wear 2. Pull them up to thighs 3. Pants dance for 3 minutes 4. Take pants off 5. Put sweatpants on 6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie