@NikatNiteNite: I don't care who dies in the movie but it better not be the dog.
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@prodigalsam: "I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
@Brianhopecomedy: I probably should've said, "Congrats on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom".
@NYC_Blonde: I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone.
@bridger_w: I had a jacket stolen from me tonight. My enemies will stop at nothing to keep me from maintaining a comfortable body temperature in style