@BarryVonAwesome: I don't consider it a good night out if it doesn't end up as a super villain's origin story
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@JIMBOSWELT: Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus.
@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
@geraintgriffith: "This is the fourth lot of bacon to go missing this week. It can only mean one thing." "What's that Sarge?" "Someone's building a pig."
@daemonic3: *buys a bunch of stuff at Costco* Sir, you wanna box for those? "Nah, I hate violence. Can I just pay cash?"