@_Tempo11: I don't dance. Unless it's for money.
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@InternetHippo: before twitter: i’m the most miserable person on earth after twitter: i’m…not even in the top 50%
@StellaGMaddox: Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, "Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."
@shegotagronk: Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life.
@badbanana: Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair.