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@_Tempo11: I don't dance. Unless it's for money.
@weinerdog4life: Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: I bet cats are sad that they don't have a middle finger.
@PeaceInTruth1: Just because I'm smiling doesn't necessarily mean that I like you. I might be picturing you on fire.
@KalvinMacleod: [at job interview]
It says here that you are very hands on.
Yes, sir, I am.
Can you give me an example of this?
*gently caresses his face*
@JermHimselfish: I dream of living in a world where men are judged not by the color of their skin, but by the contents of their iPod.