@ruslg1: I don't date Left handed chicks cause you know, Lefty loosey Righty tighty.
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@Reverend_Scott: [sees cute girl jog by] "Imma run up and ask her out" [one block later still not caught up] "Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"
@PaperWash: If your online dating profile says "I don't have sex on the first date" then that's why you're on a dating website.
@MondayPajamas: Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you.
@rickolantern: Me: Was this product tested on animals? Clerk: Yes. Me: [outraged] I knew it!!!! Clerk: Sir, that's a dog leash.