@ruslg1: I don't date Left handed chicks cause you know, Lefty loosey Righty tighty.
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@TeaAndCopy: Punctuality is important. It's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and arriving late to find he's already done it.
@LionJenkins: [First day at New Job] New Boss: When in Rome do as the Romans you know? <Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry>
@heatherlarson77: Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.