@SavoirFail: I don't do drugs. I take drugs. My brain does the drugs. Follow me? Me either -because drugs
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@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!
@SadPeruna: If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons.
@vineyille: FBI: I can’t unlock my phone Genius: is that a fake mustache over your mustache? FBI into earpiece: Operation Twostache has been compromised