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@jdbalani: I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
@hipstermermaid: Call your laptop what it really is: Bed TV.
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up
Her: Now is not a good time
*we ride the rollercoaster in silence*
@DanMentos: [Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act]
"Ok all you guys need is a name"
*they look around bank for ideas*
@Reverend_Scott: American Horror Story:
@Lisa_Laughs_: They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.