@jdbalani: I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
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@BackrowSeats: This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep.
@ibid78: [sees girl reading The Bible] "Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."
@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
@GoddessTitty: Going to get a facial today... this guy on Craigslist is offering a way lower price than the salon!