@WheelTod: I don't even care if it's a scam. Just the thought that a Nigerian prince took the time to write me a personal note has really made my day.
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@BuckyIsotope: Started to travel back in time to kill Hitler, but then I decided to be more efficient and went back and shot Adam and Eve instead.
@stephenjmolloy: Cop: "Are you driving under the influence?" Me: "No." Cop: "Say the alphabet backwards." Me: "Tebahpla eht."
@SinfulShelly: I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. "I'm not a clown!" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest.