@MoodyMcCarthy: I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!
@1Happytwit: If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a lunatic" they won't ask any more questions.
@LuvPug: "So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another" -How I Met Your Stepmother
@Jake_Vig: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets.