@ninatreemonkey: I don't even like sleep, it's just the only way I can eat spiders
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@sarousti: FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building
@david8hughes: [first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?
@CherBear162: In the movie Titanic it always bugged me that she stayed on the raft when clearly she had more body fat for warmth.
@ValeeGrrl: NEWLYWED FRIEND: i just love him so much, i always want to be around him! ME: you haven't heard him eat cereal yet, have you