@ninatreemonkey: I don't even like sleep, it's just the only way I can eat spiders
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@trentistweeting: [all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night
@shatterpants: Sitting in traffic wishing I had a Sasquatch to lean out of the passenger window and make police car noises.
@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.