@XplodingUnicorn: I don’t feel bad ignoring the baby when she cries. If she really needs something, she should text me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Justin_Stepien: I'm so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?
@Nickadoo: Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel.