@MorganJ7: I don't friend zone people I relationship zone them. You want to be my friend? Too bad, we're dating.
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@Rollinintheseat: *Geography Bee* Judge: "Tell me about Yemen." Me: "Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn't breakup with Janice on Friends."
@OctopusCaveman: Apparently, if a cop tells you to do something, you’re supposed to do it even if he doesn’t say “Simon says.”
@onion_an: Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't
@DarkerWillow: You collect clowns AND porcelain dolls?? Are you sure you don't want some help filling out your dating profile sir?