@Sean_Burgundy_: I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in
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@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(
@ch000ch: *crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!