@murrman5: I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
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@Tmoney68: Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements.
@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
@beefman138: If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : "He said, stupidly."