@murrman5: I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
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@kDuncanG: my accountant: look at ur currently monthly budget: · RENT: $800 · GAS: $200 · CHEEZ-ITS: $2,750 me: ur right, i need a cheaper place.
@DothTheDoth: Mulder: we're trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm. Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We're on a train.
@TattedChanel: 'Find a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara ' lol mate ruin any part of my makeup nd ur gettin smacked down
@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!