@murrman5: I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Don't spit at your sister! 4: I'm a bunny. Me: Bunnies don't spit. 4: I'm an acid-spitting bunny.
@bourgeoisalien: At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, "Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."