@OldUncleDaveO: I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson.
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@myles_morrison: I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.
@MBittersweet25: Every time my Father in law gets trashed, he asks if I've lost weight... So naturally I bring a bottle of scotch every time we visit.
@kyry5: I never got why people liked sitting home without pants so much until I was without a job for a week. Now I don't get why people have jobs.
@ChrisIsJoking: It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing.