@tastefactory: I don't go on Facebook much so Dave, if you're seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year's party, hope you had fun dude.
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@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: are u carrying any drugs ME: [a mousetrap is in my pocket] i don't remember but i do consent to a search
@peachesanscream: A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.
@djdarrellripley: Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen? Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room...