@ericsshadow: I dont have a "college fund" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls
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@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
@SarcasticAlly12: When a kid wants to snuggle it means you're about to get warmth in your heart and an elbow to every single one of your other organs.
@AndyAsAdjective: Your an idiot. -You're. What? -You're not your. But I said it. I didn't type it. We're talking. -Yeah but I heard the typo. You're an idiot.
@MelShutUp: Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful.