@ericsshadow: I dont have a "college fund" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls
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@markleggett: Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading.
@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
@TheNaique: Every time a magician graduates from his school and throws his hat in the air at the convocation, PETA sues him for cruelty to rabbits.