@gabemakesmusic: I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming "That's not what I said!"
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@Rollmaninoz: *school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm
@thesulk: When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial.
@Fred_Delicious: [gets found guilty of murder] [sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat] [appeals] [gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]