@gabemakesmusic: I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming "That's not what I said!"
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@MaritalFauxPas: If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!
@WetzelGeek: The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!