@squirrel74wkgn: [flashback to 1st date]
*cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn
Me: Popcorn?
Her: No thanks.
(Mom reaches from row behind)
"I'll have some."
@danielvisme: I'm not staying up all night to get lucky.
If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed.
@sirmunchie: Me: I'll write u a haiku!
Her: I'm just impressed u know how to spell haiku.
Me: *deletes "how to spell high-koo" from browser history*
@TheRolo: If love didn't hurt, it wouldn't be called love...it would be called tacos.
@JimmerThatisAll: I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them.
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