@yoyoha: I don't have a summer home, but I do have several different email addresses.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Sent my husband to work with leftovers from dinner last night. His co-workers are going to be so jealous of his bowl of cereal.
@OpenClassMX: My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me.
@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor
*Vacuums over said thing
*Vacuum cant pick it up
*Picks up thing
*Looks at it
*Puts it back on the floor to vacuum
@causticbob: Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue?
Are aliens their primary customers?
@Sassafrantz: [one month later]
Sorry, just got your text. Do you still want to break up?