@Elizasoul80: I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
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@jwoodham: Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no.
@slimmy_shady: Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop lap-dancing. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
@tdwyer618: The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
@TheCiscoKidder: Every video my wife has taken with her phone has me in it saying, "Are you taking a video?"