@Elizasoul80: I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
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@lazerdoov: Pretty lame how horses and dogs don't capitalize on their ability to wear 2 pairs of jean shorts at once
@DirtMcTurd: If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave
@audipenny: *carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
@TheTobbie: Is it racist that I've been talking to this one white chick on my street for months now & just realized she's actually 5 white chicks?...