@SwoonTwang: I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows.
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@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.
@Cpin42: My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!
@david8hughes: God: Noah, I need an ark. Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?