@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
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@AlexvanBeek: [10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter..
@lisaOoOo: I slept with the lights on last night because I missed the light switch with all 8 of the Nerf Darts I shot while lying in bed.
@hrtbps: My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t
@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?