@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@robrouse: Bin Laden's neighbours interviewed "we had no idea...he just kept himself to himself really..."
@djdarrellripley: This has to be the worst date I have ever had. That includes the time that I accidentally answered my uncle's personal ad....
@GrantTanaka: Mom: I HEARD UR SICK Me: just a cold Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA M: no I- Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA M: mom- Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT M: wait, what