@BuckyIsotope: “I don’t have to run faster than the bear. I just have to run faster than you,” I say to my hiking companion. It is Usain Bolt. A bear waves
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@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
@bridger_w: Give yourself something to look forward to tomorrow: Text a friend, "I think you owe me an apology," then turn off your phone and go to bed
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade