@SodomyClown: I don't kill spiders because when spiders become our mutant overlords and eat us, they will look at me and say, "She's cool. Let her live."
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@Samiam556: Walks you into the bedroom. Stands you up straight against the wall. *you notice the sign that says "You must be this tall to ride this guy"
@hell_homer: Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. "I just noticed," he whispered, "your name sounds like Dildo" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
@SamuelHLowe: - I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No.