@SamGirlSunday: I don't know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now.
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@WilliamAder: Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose.
@MartaEffing: [first date] Me: *sees he owns a cat* Him: Are you a cat or a dog person? Me: *maintains eye contact* *pushes cat off the table* *leaves*
@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home