@MaraWritesStuff: I don't know if you really meant to Like Ebola on Facebook, 8,000 people
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@LuvPug: Just pulled into the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot at Walmart because I'm fully expecting to lose my shit on one of my kids in there.
@druuuck: *Friend sees my knuckle tats* F: 'MMA4LYFE,' really? *I put my fists by my English prof's 'OXFORDCO' knuckle tats* *we start break dancing*
@badbanana: If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: I've had this for 3 weeks & I'm still single! HomeDepot Clerk: ma'am, a stud finder is for the beams in your wall Me: that was unclear