@MaraWritesStuff: I don't know if you really meant to Like Ebola on Facebook, 8,000 people
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@badbanana: Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?
@Terdoh: I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking "This is not The Gates' residence."
@TheRealNickKay: [Walks in on girlfriend on death bed] ME: [Crying] this can't be happening GRIM REAPER: Dude, I can explain. She totally came on to me
@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.