@Tmoney68: I don't know much about fashion. I assume a leotard is an idiot born between July 23 & August 22.
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@SweetTweetsBRO: I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
@therealeatwood: ME: Leave me alone! You’re not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton.
@Up2Long: 17 yo didn't do chores last night. I delete all songs on iPod and replace them with the theme song to Scooby Doo. Enjoy the bus to school.
@briancthayer: Seeing a stuffed deer head on a wall makes me imagine its legs in the next room, just flailing around wildly.