@MatMarcotte12: I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: We must find Luke Skywalker General Hux: Why? He won't fight & you don't need training. Kylo: He might have cool Vader souvenirs
@DancesWithTamis: The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow
@DurtMcHurtt: Playing dodgeball with kids is harder than it looks cause you have to throw them with both hands.
@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.