@ashleyaustrew: "I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins." - my 4yo after I explained taxes
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@UncleDuke1969: Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying "LOL" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)
@KeetPotato: [my 1st day as a getaway driver] bank robber: [jumps in car] "go go go go" me: [reaching under my seat] "how do you make the seat go back?"
@fro_vo: Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: what Evil Queen: mirror- Hand Mirror: WHAT Evil Queen: on the wall Hand Mirror: oh shit sorry
@spackary: Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then