@littlekitnerboy: I don't know what to do with my arms when I'm running, should I fold them?
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@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.
@iQuoteComedy: That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep.
@Chloestylo: Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?
@iwearaonesie: me *sneezes* cw: Bless you me *sneezes* cw: Allergies? [flashback to me snorting pepper because my kid dared me to] me: Yeah, I guess so