@littlekitnerboy: I don't know what to do with my arms when I'm running, should I fold them?
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@AimeeHelene1: News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*
@WonderMonkey78: Atheists don't believe in God or the "i before e except after c" rule of spelling.
@stonedcoldlazy: Obama just said that no one is listening to our phones..I wonder if he realizes that the LAST thing we do with our phones is make a call!