@grmonta: I don't know what's more embarrassing, accidentally sending nudes to your boss or getting a pay decrease as a result of your nudes.
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@iinkedZombie: Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus.
@gabemakesmusic: I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming "That's not what I said!"
@Mr_Kapowski: Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register.