@rolldiggity: "I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends." -Misery
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@caithuls: [my head is bleeding] HIM: Have u seen a doctor??? ME: Buddy, I've seen several. Let me tell u about a little show called Grey's Anatomy...
@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*