@rolldiggity: "I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends." -Misery
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@slimmy_shady: I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing.
@13spencer: A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.
@kay_bee28: Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters...
@mikescollins: "1990 called, they want their shirt back." "...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"