@Thedudish: I don't know which is stranger: That the cat buried a mouse's body in the yard, or that the service was attended by dozens of mice in suits.
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@jake_likes_naps: [gets down on 1 knee] Babe will you-- "Yeah... Here it is" [she lends me her phone charger] Thanks
@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.