@Thedudish: I don't know which is stranger: That the cat buried a mouse's body in the yard, or that the service was attended by dozens of mice in suits.
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@EndhooS: Bee: I got a stinger bro! Dung beetle: Nice! [enters gods office] Sorry I'm late. Whats my special power? God: [clearly annoyed] Eating shit
@PaperWash: angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla
@carlyken: The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band
@KindOfASmartass: I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.