@TheRolo: I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you.
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@Parkerlawyer: My teenage son just took out the trash without being asked. Should I be alarmed? This. Is. Not. A. Drill.
@nPhelendriqal: I just wrote a check for 6 dollars, so I don't really wanna hear about your 'summer' house.
@SadPeruna: Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends.