@Dawn_M_: I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades.
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@Reverend_Scott: Rum: "Drink me." Me: "No, I'll get a hangover." Rum: "Nah, you'll get funnier and better looking!" Me: "Really?" *drinks* Rum: "Sucker."
@theshantilly: I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, "Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before." or "You have a dope overbite."
@DevilryFun: I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese.