@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
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@amishschool: My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word "slimming", I explain to the other homeless people.
@lisaxy424: I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.
@StymieBrewer: Hey, hey...calm down please. Stop crying. I think all babies are ugly, not just yours.