@OneFunnyMummy: I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
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@sixfootcandy: Him: Why are you late? Me: I was at church. Him: I find that hard to believe. Did they have a breakfast buffet or something?
@jessforaminute: *Drops French fry in the crevice of car seat* Join your brothers and sisters sweet child
@iAmDelFreaky: Sean Connery still has nightmares about the time he told a woman to sit on his face.