@OneFunnyMummy: I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
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@torrami: Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working.
@ibid78: I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*
@greggjgc79: [catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened.
@TastyTuneTweets: Go ahead lady, call the cops. I have witnesses that say your toddler started it.