@U_Want_Shum_M8: I dont know why people are disappointed when they find out a celebrity crush is married.As if that was their only obstacle to being together
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@SortaBad: Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*
@justaride: If you have time-stamped VHS footage of yourself blowing out birthday candles, you'll eventually be abducted.
@Midgetspar: If someone ever asks you for advice just reply with "Buy a penguin". Imagine a scenario where that isn't awesome.