@XGroverX: I don't know why smokey the bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me.
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@Bearslietoo: A fun thing to do is to tell a complete stranger that you met your boyfriend on Twitter and then show them a cat.
@jwoodham: Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball.
@Playing_Dad: "Daddy, why is it dark at night?" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny.