@rocknthepurple: I don't know why so many people blame their air conditioning for their inability to spell.
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@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@KalvinMacleod: ME (pulling wishbone): I won WIFE: what'd u wish for? M: uh world peace W: Nice *human-sized bacon strip walks into kitchen* Hey, what’s up?
@KimDotcom: "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they're not always accurate." - Albert Einstein