@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.
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@usermcuserface: My throat hurts, so I better keep swallowing 50 times a minute to make sure it still hurts.
@paulrobalino: Girl, is your dad Louis Vuitton? Because you have such big bags under your eyes. Wait am I doing this right
@hstweetheart: Ariel: "But I love him, daddy!" *sobs as King Tritan rips her iPhone away and unfollows PrinceEric69*
@LoveNLunchmeat: Serious question... Would Titanic have been more romantic if they had both died, but holding hands and floating, like otters?