@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.
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@Vodkantots: My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume.
@UncleDuke1969: Oh boy, I am desperate! My bowels do churn. Too many tacos! I never will learn. Pardon me, Sir! I believe it's my turn. - Horton Has to Poo
@Cidisn: Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom.