@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [playing the board game Guess Who] Me: Is your person handsome? 5-year-old: No, they look like you.
@Rob_Firm: Mannequin challenge but me just standing in the kitchen, in the dark, holding the ice cream container as my wife walks by unaware.
@CommonSavant: I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers.