@torrami: I don't like coconut so I don't eat coconut. I don't follow coconut around criticizing its texture or taste or tweets or sense of humor.
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@myonlymizztake: Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced same day delivery from Amazon?
@ErinLea7: Found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself What Would Jesus Do? So I took it and turned it into wine.
@simoncholland: Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.
@pizzajaynow: You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots.