@fatherofcomedy: I don't like doing the same things again so much that I can never be a serial killer.
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@The_CamGirl: ME: I love the D HER:Why? ME:I love to lick them first HER:... ME:Then I love to swallow them HER:... ME:I love D Dunkin' Donuts Interview
@The_JRM: The reason my daughter wasn't nominated for an Oscar is because the Academy hasn't seen my 7yo trying to get out of going to school.
@DaddyBeerGuy: Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?
@foodfacenow: 1st Date Me: Just warning you. I get freaky. Her: Oh yeah? How freaky.? Me:*thinking of using pizza rolls as a pizza topping* So freaky.