@liv_thatsme: I don't like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online.
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@JasonLight73: Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!
@TheCatWhisprer: We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.
@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@weinerdog4life: I like to push the "stop time" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot.