@liv_thatsme: I don't like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online.
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@trojansauce: [after frodo throws the ring into the volcano] FRODO: well? VOLCANO: omg yes! FRODO: i love you VOLCANO: i love you too
@Brianhopecomedy: I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden.
@Quartzjixler: Doritos has a new snack called "Taco Explosion" so I'm suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell.