@DougBenson: I don't like it when my phone puts a word in "quotals" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something.
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@JohnLyonTweets: *walks into alma mater carrying English degree* I'd like a refund, please. This did not work as promised.
@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.
@tastefactory: "It's gonna taste really good." - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza