@Parentpains: I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count.
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@PeachCoffin: I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don't call it Liam then what is even the point of you
@007Pepe_Rex: Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels.
@gurl_sour: Police found the neighbourhood paedophile shot in the head 27 times. Authorities ruled it the worst case of suicide in a decade.
@NotPeterStark: Me: "Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?" Nurse: "Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..." *pulls pants back up*