@AtticusFinch79: I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home.
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@jwoodham: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Who threw that? Gary, was that you? Don't act innocent, I know you download music illegally.
@juneohara65: 5 year old niece to me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Me: Let's not rush things, OK?
@david8hughes: [taking baby's shoes off & examining the soles] "Oh look, completely clean. It's almost as if you were carried everywhere."