@AtticusFinch79: I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home.
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@Elizasoul80: Presidential election season; that special time every four years when we find out who we just really shouldn't be friends with anymore.
@ElKnuckelhombre: My neighbor's looking at me like she's never seen a guy stuck in her doggy door before. And what's with the screaming? And the golf club?!
@KatMcSnatch: Recipe for homemade charcoal: 1. Put dinner in the oven. 2. Sit down to check one quick thing on the internet...