@RobElliottComic: I don't mean to sound like a tough guy but I've been in New York City for almost two hours and I've only cried like 31 times...
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@AimeeHelene1: If I don't make this right hand turn going exactly 3 mph, the entire universe will explode & everyone will die. - the lady in front of me
@Elizasoul80: My 7 year old has been asking a lot of questions this Christmas season and I'm worried that it might be the last year he believes that Bitcoin is real.
@SouthernStylin1: The part of my boyfriend is now being played by what appears to be a memory of a time he said brb
@StellaGMaddox: 5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it.