@GuyConfused: I don't mind meeting her parents. It's her husband I have always been avoiding.
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@Audenary: BOUNCER: Sorry, buddy - planets only. PLUTO: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Nope. *Jurassic World walks in* PLUTO: Oh you cannot be serious.
@FreudsTwin: I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?
@mrtimlong: When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."